On top of Michel Fabrizio admitting he can't ride the Ducati without the aid of hertzes, amps and machines that go 'ping', Yukio Kagayama has said that he thinks there is a problem with his electronics while braking and accelerating. Turn. Them. Off. Then.

Max Neukirchner managed to fall off three times over the weekend but didn't hurt himself once. But his collection of bikes was so damaged, his team-mate's mechanics also had to be enlisted in order to get him running again. We can rebuild them...

BMW's Troy Corser doesn't like Superpole any more. The artist former known as Mr Superpole reckons that the whole thing is wanky because there is, "too much of a lottery and not enough skill" involved. Would he be saying that if he was on the front row? It's a shame they don't run Superpole on Mondays, then we could have a song about it too...

According to one website, which shall remain anonymous in an attempt to protect the guilty, Leon Haslam tigered his way up to ninth in race two. How does that work? Did he repeatedly shout, "They're grrrrrrrrrreat" into his visor for 18 laps? I think the public should be told...

Makoto Tamada failed to turn up for either of the Qatar races after spectacularly high-siding during morning warm up. He suffered a broken toe and a possible dislocated hip when his ZX-10R landed on him in the crash. Borrocks.

Eugene Laverty's crew chief Brains steadfastly refuses to reveal what he has done to the Parkalgar Honda to make it faster than the Ten Kate bikes. He even refused to break when we held his bag of kola-kubes close to a blow torch. While hanging about the Parkalgar garage post-race, I did spot some small tins being quietly loaded into a bin which had 0, N and 2 written on them. Now I'm no scientist...

In the Supersport post-race interviews, Cal Crutchlow used every excuse in the manual for not winning apart from a) I made some silly mistakes and b) I wasn't fast enough to do it today. Which are the real reasons.

Best wishes go to Tommy Hill's dad Mick who has managed to set a record while in hospital. Mr Hill (Sr) went in for an operation on his stomach and the usual time spent from going in to hospital to coming out of surgery is 14 days. The previous record was nine days, and Mick has managed it in eight. Not a competitive family then... Speedy recovery, Sir.

Noriyuki Haga quipped that Ben Spies "is ten years younger than me so that's why I lose". Never a truer word spoken in jest.

Ruben Xaus reckons got a bit of the green-eyed monster when he saw that team-mate Corser was in fourth because he "wanted to be be there". Practice starts, Ruben, that's the ticket. 

One Superbike rider won't be steering his big, giant motorhome around Europe from the Valencia round as he is due to court today for speeding again and will most likely get banned from driving.
 

Stating the obvious this weekend is Max Neukirchner: We’ll have to do better in practice, qualifying and Superpole in the future.

Ahhh, bless of the weekend goes to Yukio Kagayama: I think I lost about 30 seconds and by the time I got back on the track everybody had gone! The rest of the race was very lonely for me