Valentino Rossi left Sepang saying the cuts to his hand and foot, which sparked a worldwide media frenzy including a spot on Sky News and a whole page in The Times by expert*-on-everything Simon Barnes, actually made no difference to his riding at all. The Doctor expects to be completely healed by the time Qatar testing comes round and also hopes not to have any repeats of the coffee table incident. It is thought, however, his mum has been round and child-proofed his entire house, and put a baby gate up on the stairs.

* Edgar's definition of expert: an ex is a has-been and a spurt is a drip under pressure...

While no official statements about new MotoGP regulations have been made by any of the many and varied associations, committees and funny-handshake clubs that make up the rules, lots of information has been slowly leaking out. One thing that appears to be a dead cert is engines will have to last at least two races by the time the paddock gets swept up on Sunday night at Indianapolis, instead of being replaced at the end of each GP. And the rule could well be extended to three races for the 2010 season.

Honda has implemented a 18,000rpm limit on the customer bikes it leases to the likes of Fausto Gresini in an effort to already reduce costs for the 2009 season. Even though all the satellite teams have the pneumatic V-four, the new rev limit is as close as makes no odds to the old spring valve motor use to run, so that about wraps it up for progress.

Most teams have been forced to slash budgets by up to a quarter for the 2009 season, with staff flying to races in cattle class (ah, the poor darlings). Some HRC staff have reportedly taken pay cuts and team hospitality has also been cut down.

Horror of horrors, the BBC has also sent down an edict to its MotoGP team of Suzi Perry, Charlie Cox and Steve Parrish saying they too must fly in economy, not business. If the Corporation is going to cut down on something, maybe it should be Cox's inane waffling and references to car racing while 'commmentating' on motorcycle racing.

Suzuki's MotoGP team boss has said the manufacturer was as close as it could get to pulling out of the series at the same time as Kawasaki but a ruling by the firm's CEO saved the day. Apparently, Osamu Suzuki said that racing was in the company's DNA and it was important for the image. Nothing to do with massive penalties for not turning up then? Oh no.

Marco Melandri has said that he does not want to be in MotoGP to make up the numbers and has almost no hope of riding in the class for 2009. Meanwhile, probably-former team-mate John Hopkins has become mercifully quiet recently. He is trying to do a deal with Stiggy Honda in World Superbikes but hasn't written a word on his own website since New Year and his disappeared off Facebook...

Britain's James Toseland went straight for a big medical check-up as soon as he got back to the UK because he found he couldn't remember the trip from the ambulance to the medical centre after his massive first-day crash. Toseland high-sided his Tech3 Yamaha at 125mph and bashed himself up quite bit but dismissed the bang on the head and concentrated on his other injuries. Apparently, he has been struggling to get his words out and has been feeling dizzy.

Toseland's team-mate Colin Edwards, who has the second-worst nickname in MotoGP, is very pleased with his Sepang performance and is apparently not suffering from Michelin withdrawal after being fourth-fastest.  He has, however, aggravated an old neck injury while putting his lid on. He hurt his neck in a crash at the Sachsenring last season and appears to have reawakened it, so is having medical checks when he gets home.

Nicky Hayden, who holds the coveted title of worst nickname in MotoGP, wasn't happy with the resurfacing work carried out at Sepang, in particular turn two where he, Valentino Rossi and one or two others crashed. "They’ve done a bad job of resurfacing the track and it has caught a few riders out this week. Luckily I wasn’t hurt," said The Kentucky Kid. See? I mean, we used to have names like Dave "Crasher" Croxford in the good old days. And it is well documented that Paul Smart spent lots of sleepless nights deliberating over his nickname before deciding on the dynamic "Smarty". There was a full sitting of the Barry Sheene nickname committee before the moniker "Bazza" was voted in and as for "Steady" Eddie Lawson, well, he must have had a team of people sorting that one out for him. Thinking about it, they're all rubbish. Not got the same ring to them as "Smokin'" Joe Frazier, have they..?

Napoleonic Repsol Honda rider Dani Pedrosa has revealed he won't be riding a new RC212V for 2009 but will just update the pneumatic-valved bike from 2008 and improve in areas such as brakes. The diminutive Spaniard reckons he has changed bikes every season since he was in short trousers  and can't see the point of fixing something that isn't broken. At least, that is what Alberto Puig told him he wants before telling him to stop showing off, and to run along and finish his homework.