Kawasaki will have to fork out a staggering £15m to extract themselves from their MotoGP contract which runs until 2011, plus they will still have to pay John Hopkins and Marco Melandri to sit on their arses for the season.

Bizarrely, Oliver Jacque is due to test the 2009 bike at Eastern Creek in Australia on Saturday...

Jorge Martinez has basically said he isn't interested in running the bikes this year if he can't stick his own rider, probably Spanish, probably Fonsi Nieto, on one of them, so that leaves current team manager Michael Bartholemy holding the proverbial.

Rumours of Suzuki's exit from MotoGP exit are now so loud that team boss Paul Denning must be going a bit mutton. Rizla still hasn't officially confirmed or denied whether it will be backing the squad this year.

And without that even Denning, who has almost as much money as Ron Dennis, won't be able to continue. Suzuki's CEO himself, whose name escapes me for the time being, said a couple of weeks ago that Japan's motor industry would be reduced from six manufacturers to three in the not too distant future, hinting at a merger with Honda...

Speaking of Hopkins, he has stated he wants to race in MotoGP this season but doesn't reckon, at this late stage, he will be able to. Er, duhh. He is being chased, apparently, by the cash-strapped Stiggy Honda team in WSB who are desperate for the Monster drinks money, which ties in nicely with Leon Haslam, who is sponsored by, erm, Monster drinks...

I personally think that if Silverstone pull their fingers out, get some good grandstands and ditch that rubbish chicane, MotoGP could be alright there. But if there are only 17 bikes on the grid, it's going to look like a mini-moto race because the track is huge. Which presumes that MotoGP exists at all in 2010...

Marlboro Ducati newboy Nicky Hayden has said he isn't keen on the amount of electronics now being used in MotoGP and reckons some restrictions need to be implemented. The Kentucky Kid, who is in desperate need of a new nickname, said that if the amount of technology used in MotoGP continues at its current pace, the situation will become ridiculous.

Apparently, Casey Stoner is "shocked" by Kawasaki's MotoGP ball-taking-home  exercise. So? As Captain Whiney's thoughts on the situation have no bearing whatsoever, who gives a monkey's?

Ilmor have expressed an interest in the upcoming Moto2 category, according to young master Kropotkin at Motogpmatters.com. But boss Steve Miller, who may or may not be a joker, smoker or midnight toker but sure don't want to hurt no-one, reckons he can build a motor inside the €20,000 claiming rule, but probably not a gearbox. Handy.

Meanwhile, in France, Herve Poncharal rolled his eyes, adjusted his beret to an even more jaunty angle and said: "Paf." Probably.