Paul Bird, Cumbrian motorsport and chicken supremo who you may remember from such speeches as: "No Friends in the South" and "I'll Say What I Like and I Like What I Bloody Well Say", has made a shock entrance into the Big Brother house this evening.
Mr Bird, who is well known for his tolerance and ability to bear fools, has taken someone in with him who is pretending to be his partner, which will have cost him.
It is thought that Mr Bird may have paid someone a great deal of money in order to get a full works bed and factory backing from Dunlop-pillo in order to win the sleeping competition.
Mario, from Big Brother...
This isn't actually true. All writs should be sent to our solicitors, Messrs Sue, Grabbit and Runne.